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Change.
That word can sum up our lives sometimes. Marriage/sex brings change as you vulnerably give yourself to another person. Pregnancy brings change as your body swells and hormones fly all over the place. Motherhood brings change as you become the one a tiny little person depends on for everything. Even in the mundane, there is change. And of course, divorce and breakups bring heart wrenching change.
As a single mom, it feels as though the word "change" is what sums up every single minute of our lives. One day you feel confident and the next day you are on your kitchen floor weeping. One day you feel like you are really making strides in your healing and the next day you feel like you're having to start the healing process all over again. Living alone, carrying the weight of two people, being there for your kids - it's all messy and unpredictable and full of changes.
As a creature who loves routine, I don't like change much at all, and if I'm not careful I can allow the changes in my life to make me angry at God for allowing those changes to begin with. When we do that, we are completely missing an amazing and, yes, life changing thing!
We all know that people and circumstances are shifting shadows, changing minute by minute and year by year. But God is immutable. His character and His love is unchanging. I have so much peace in that. When my life was uprooted, the only comfort I had was knowing that my God is a firm rock. When my marriage ended, the only comfort I had was the truth of my God's unwavering love. When my children struggle, when I get angry, when I feel as though the whole world is trying to rip me apart, God's unchanging nature is what holds me and gives me joy. Psalm 23 has become dear to me over the years. If you are a single mom or if you need encouragement today, here is Psalm 23 in my own words:
The Lord is my Shepherd; leading, protecting and providing for me. Because of who He is, I have all that I need. In His care, I can rest. There may be a famine of love and security elsewhere but with Him, there is an abundance of green grass and still waters. He restores my soul when I have a faith crisis or when I question everything I know to be true. He faithfully leads me in the paths of righteousness - not because I claimed it, deserved it, or earned it, but for His own name’s sake. When I walk through the valley of grief, depression, anger, panic, shame or torment; in the shadow of marital death or even physical death, I will fear no evil, for God - my God - is with me. And He won't ever leave. His rod of correction and His staff of protection bring me comfort because I know He cares enough to reign my wandering heart in and He loves enough to stand between me and what seeks to destroy me. He prepares a table – a literal feast – before me in the very presence of my enemies. He pours the oil of gladness over me and makes me sing with joy. My cup is not just filled, it is overflowing because God always, always, always out-gives Look what He has done. Look at how He has loved and been faithful. Look at how He has provided and rescued again and again! Because of that, surely – after all He’s done and all He has been – His goodness and His mercy will follow me for the rest of my life. And, because of Jesus, I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever…in His presence.
Hang in there single mom (and young mom, older mom, homeschool mom and career mom!). The Lord is still your Shepherd and you can count on Him.
For more, study: 1 Samuel 12:22; Isaiah 41:13; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Psalm 5:12; Psalm 18:35; Hebrews 1:9; John 10:10; Psalm 16:11