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The world is full of brokenness. We see it. We feel it. We are tormented by anxiety and depression, we are struck with illness and chronic pain, we suffer deep loss and experience trauma. Hard seasons of suffering will knock on our door, upsetting our plans and, sometimes, altering our lives forever. When this happens, we have questions.

  • Why is this happening to me?

  • Where is God at?

  • How can I ever be happy again?

What happens when your life is turned upside down? What do you do when your reality collides with your theology? With vulnerability and passion, Kristen confronts the lies surrounding loss, shines a spotlight on the dangers of misapplied Scripture, and candidly shares her story of abuse, depression, and betrayal. Pulling back the curtain and exposing the raw pain of suffering, she points to the source of true and lasting joy.

It's finally here!


"I walked away from reading filled with joy and peace in my heart, and encouragement to continue in confident hope through the inevitably painful trials that come from this life."

"This book is healing. Through the words laid out, it helps us see God for who He really is, and sin for what it really is. This book lays out perfectly the will of God in our lives through beautiful writing. You will not regret reading it."

"This book grabs you and doesn’t let go! Kristen flies you over the devastation that was her own “valley of the shadow of death,” and shows you the God who was there all along."

"I could not put this book down! Kristen writes in such a beautifully descriptive way while telling her story of suffering, sin, and theology. She writes so vulnerability pointing everything back to Scripture. She leads you to find joy in your hardship—right where joy has always been.

"This is a resource full of biblically based wisdom. Kristen focuses on her search for God in the dark chaos of suffering, her discovery of how the dangers of misapplied scriptures were smothering her faith, how each individual heart is corrupted by their own desires and how the Gospel of Jesus Christ redeems."

"Similar to a Rembrandt canvas filled with very dark clusters to create a concentrated, almost furnace-like, intensity of the light, Kristen’s uncompromising realism and visual art of writing is a tremendous reflection of the Master Artist’s work of art in progress."

"This incredible life account of a believer's journey through and ultimate victory, through Christ, over suffering is humbling and inspiring at the same time. For anyone who has been through or going through life's struggles, this is book is invaluable."

"A gripping testimony of the transforming power of the gospel of grace."

"If you have walked through any season of suffering and wrestled with your faith (or even if you haven’t) this book is for you!"

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